If you’re nervous about introducing the paramour to the kids you’re not alone. Telling your kids that you’re officially dating can be nerve wracking. But it doesn’t have to be. Keep in mind that very young children aren’t necessarily going to have the same expectations of permanence as older children. They may be able to accept that the other person is just a “friend”. On the flip side, teenagers understand the concept of dating and won’t necessarily expect a date to turn into something more serious right away.  Nonetheless, there are ways you can make it easier on yourself and your children when it’s time to introduce them to your partner.

#1. Don’t surprise them
Of course it makes sense to wait until you’re serious before introducing him or her to the kids. At the same time you should give them a heads up. Let them know you’re dating someone even if you’re not ready to introduce them yet. If you wait too long, next thing you know you’ll be engaged and your kids will feel blindsided. So make sure to let your kids hear about the relationship before you’ve decided you’re in love.

#2 Keep the details to a minimum
Your kids don’t need to know about every single detail of your dating life. It’s not appropriate and will likely make them feel uncomfortable. Imagine how strange it would be to know about the most intimate moments of your parents dating life! Let them know you’re dating someone and leave it at that.

#3 Get your child’s input
Allowing your child to have some say in the matter will allow them to feel validated and part of the process. Ask them when and where they would like to meet the significant other as opposed to just inviting your date to the next dinner. Another no-no is bringing your boyfriend or girlfriend to your child’s dance recital, soccer game, or other territory that is “theirs”.

#4 Keep expectations at a minimum
The first meeting can and will likely be awkward. Let your partner know it’s OK to be him or herself. Trying too hard will be obvious to the kids who will be able to sniff out the hard sell. Younger kids may be shy, while older kids may feign indifference or retreat to their phones or computers. Accept your children’s’ reactions and don’t force anything on them before they’re ready.

Most importantly, let your child know that nothing will ever replace your love for them. Remember ultimately your children want to see you happy! Over time, things will get easier.
 

British singer Amy Winehouse, whose career has been blighted by alcohol and drug abuse, has cancelled all her scheduled concerts after she was jeered by fans in Serbia recently for a shambolic performance.

Winehouse, 27, sporting her trademark bouffant hairdo and figure-hugging dress, struggled to perform her songs and keep her balance at the gig in the Serbian capital Belgrade, and on some tunes the audience did most of the singing.